he he he. today is trying to be a bad one, but i won't let it! no no no! lol! i woke up to yet another cancelation. people are dropping like flies round here. and it isn't really about money {for them} it's vacations, other dogs in the yard, forgetting and doing something else. i can understand money. but even then.. call me so i can schedule people in your spot! dammit! so after much consideration. i am going to make some new policies for my business. -i know how business woman of me! ha!  i have to. i loved having a relaxed style, but i can't anymore. people are jackass's! they are beginning to take advantage of my kindness. so no more. i am going to write a letter that i am going to give to each client that basically says *i need you to cancel within 24 hours of your appointment. if you cancel in less time then i will charge you $25. if i come to your house and you are not home, or there is no check there  i will charge you $50.* i never wanted to enforce this, but it has gotten out of control. i've had 4 people cancel last min this week alone! costing me $400!! ouch! that sucks! i never took the time to add it up til now! ya, this letters gotta happen. and what is happening is that i call my clients the day before to remind them. and at that time they tell me that they will pass on the apt. like that's a possibility! wtf?! i'm not offering you gum! lol! anyway. so there's that lil gem of fun. {it'll get better. i just need to get some control here that's all.} and then my dad is on self destruct mode. my mom said he's really bad. and i get to see him today.*whoohoo* can you feel the sarcasm? lol! but here's the reason why today is going to be great. i get to see my tattoo man. :D :D :D we are all going in for a consultation for our justin tattoos. yay!! can't wait! so.. deep breath. i will have a great day. i will get some money. hopefully a lot! ha! and i will see my dreamboat. all is fantastic in my world! ;) i also have the tools at hand to fix the problems that keep coming up. this is good..this is great. sure, i look like my face exploded cause aunt flo is here.. but i don't care, my inner beauty will shine shine shine today! :D ok, off to get ready for this most beautiful day. hmmm... maybe now that i have extra time, i'll go for a walk. oh! crap!! that reminds me!

new line of thought! ha! yesterday i was out on a walk. the sun was just about down and the moon was just about up. as i walked by one of my favorite houses i saw a bolt of light. it looked like an orb but long. it came then went. the sky was clear, so no lightening. it was neat. also as i continued down that street a beautiful black cat came trotting up to me like it new me. i knelt down and pet her. she was wonderful and so friendly! she followed me for most of the walk. i'd stop and pet her now and again. i have never seen her before and i walk there a lot. also before my walk i was in my *office* and i just happened to have a break in the music i was listening to and just happened to glance up to see a humming bird floating in front of my window! i had it opened {screen closed though} and i could hear her chirping. i have never ever heard that before! it was amazing! she floated there for a few seconds then took off. here's the thing. i either thing that the fairies are trying to get closer to me. {i've been trying to work with them. never have before. so thought i'd give it a shot. ;)} oooorrr my grandma was saying hi. hummingbirds make me think of her aaannnnddd she always had a black cat!!! i really think the cat was cause of her. maybe not the birdy. but anywho. pretty cool huh?! ok, now i'm really gonna go. ;) have a great talk-like-a-pirate-day! yaaarrrrrrr~ alysia

ok, i have a question.... how do you send healing to a person? i really think i've been going at it all wrong. not to toot my own horn, but i really think that i'm a natural healer. so i have always given my own energy to a person or animal when they are hurting or in need. i now know that is not the way to do it. i can naturally feel if a person or animal is in need {ya, i'm an empath too}. so without even a second thought or even a first one for that matter, i give people my energy. not good! i have tried while in meditation to send other energies, but i really don't know if i am going about it right. i am soooo used to sending my own, that i am not sure if i am doing anything at all! lol! so do i ask the divine to heal a person. do i visualize something like this?

not sure if i'm feelin the little gnome dude. but you see what i mean. do i use the energy of herbs and stones and perhaps the earth? and if you are saying yes, how?! lol! do i take it inside myself then send that? or do i say 'magic stone do your thang'??? or am i "preying" to the divine to help the person or animal out? *sigh* ok, anyone know of a good reiki book? i think that may answer some questions. lol! but i'm sure you all can help me out here too. i ask this because i can now see that i do it unintentionally. when i was younger i used to be tired a lot. my mom always said it was the food i ate. she was partly right i'm sure. but i was by no means an unhealthy kid. and now that i'm older i am much more healthy. i like to feel good, so i am trying to eat right. sooo why do i still feel drained?? yup, i think i've been dishing out the goods without realizing it! this all came to me cause of how i felt this morning. i began to realize that my energy was depleted in the mornings. so i began to shield myself at night as well as during the day. but last night i did my little exercise of spreading love.. which i really think i was giving a lot of myself in that! but i ended with my tattoo artist dreamboat. no i'm not trying to sway him to love me. no spells on him, not my bag baby! ;) but i do care for him and felt the need to give him some love. well... i feel asleep at this point. and i never shielded myself and i didn't finish spreading the love. so i was thinking that maybe my sub conscience took over and began to give out my energy like it was going out of style! i woke up almost feeling like i went to a party the night before. i was kinda startled and confused. i also realized that i literally passed out! i didn't set my alarm. i'm surprised that the light was off. i also had a raging headache and felt like my body was tense all night. it took a while for the headache to go away. but i really feel it was because of my meditative state all night. i was drained! i'm sure he feel like a new man today! ha!! so, what do i do?? how do i help people and animals and yet still keep my energy? the daily shielding is really helping. i thought it was mostly for me to not take on peoples emotions, but now i see that it helps with keeping my emotions and energy where they need to be. :) thanx cerberus!! :D so ya, what do you all suggest? hope this all makes sense, and i hope i don't sound like a whack-job! lol! hope you all have a great night. sending you all love.. from beyond!! hahahahhaaaa!! (((((hugs))))))~ alysia 

 

... mental gardening.

everyday we run into people who irritate us. we have situations that stress us out. weather these situations come from a total stranger or a loved one, they affect us in the present and the future. at the time of the offense we feel the anger from it. this anger is also a seed for irritation in the future. not only do we remember the anger, but we also put that negative energy out into the universe. weather or not you yell at the person or think of an insult, that negativity is put out there. it would be ideal for us to not get angry.. but lets be realistic here. we are human and we are gonna get mad. a lot of the time we need to stand up for ourselves. so we can't just not get upset. so, what's the next best thing to not getting mad at all??? letting it go. or doing a little bit of mental gardening. a while back i spoke of what i called a psychic shower. i think this is a great way of truly letting go. a way to take out that seed of negativity so it won't become hate or disruption in the future. for those of you who may have missed it, here's what i call a psychic shower:

close your eyes and see yourself in a field. take a moment to see all the beauty around you. what does the sky look like? what kind of field are you in? is there any water around? once you feel satisfied, think back on your day. remember all the bad. what has upset you. who has upset you. when you do this, really remember the moment. let that anger wash over you. then allow the anger to roll up from your feet and the top of your head to your hands. cup your hands and watch them as a bubble begins to form. what color is it? let it grow. feel all the anger and hurt go into it. once you feel like you have let it all out. blow the bubble off your hand. let it go into the wind and let the universe take it away. release it all. if you've had a particularly rough day, you may have to do more than one bubble. focus on one thing at a time if needed. once you have let the bubbles go, calm yourself and take in the serenity of the moment. see the beauty around you. be at peace.

i feel that if you do this regularly, or something like it, you will welcome each day. and in doing so, you will welcome peace and happiness into your life. another trick may be to meditate on a person who has upset you. release your anger at them, remove the layers of hate or annoyance. see the person as a human. while you see them send some good energy their way. send some love. they will, more then likely, be a lot kinder to you the next time you see them. ;) by spreading loving energy and compassion just imagine how much of it you will receive in return. again, we are human and we will get mad at people or situations. it's bound to happen. but if we lay it down, if we let it go, if we welcome in and spread love then we will live more joyous lives. so take some time and tend to your mental garden. don't let it get overgrown. tend to it and love it. you may just find self love in there. :)

and one last thing. stay positive, it really does help! lol! i just have to share really quick. i was really worried about money this past month. i had about 900 bucks in my account when rent of 1,600 was due. i knew my landlady was one to deposit the check a while after i give it to her. usually around the 15th instead of on the 5th. so i gave her the check, preying it wouldn't bounce higher then a rubber ball. i worked diligently to make the money i needed. i also kept saying, 'it will clear. i will have the money.' i saw my account and i saw the money in there. i kept having moments of fear, of doubt. but i would curb them by saying i trust in the divine. i know i will be ok. well, i did it! the money cleared and all is well. i had enough in my account. also, i had to call and speak to the directv about my bill. it was way to expensive once again. i was worried i did something wrong. but i stayed positive. i called and turns out it was totally their fault. the lady apologized and said that she would give me showtime {which i get cause i love dexter!!!} for 6 months for free! and she'd take it off this bill too. so that 12 smackers off my bill!!! yay!!! so see. stay positive and manifest. it really does work! i also think that me being kind to the lady and not going at her with anger helped a lot too.  thank you so much to you all who told me that a while back. i never questioned you, and now look at me. :) things are gonna be great! oh,and i may have a big tax break. i may not owe 5,000 for last year!! i'll let you all know, but it sounds very promising! i think i may just get out of this hot water soon enough. :D hope you all have a great wednesday! (((hugs)))~ alysia

Polarity

© Alysia08

Anger. Hate. Disillusion.

Overwhelming. Confusion.

All feels lost. Life is lost.

Alone I sit. Alone I am.

Sometimes its just to much.

Sometimes the light goes out.

Darkness takes hold.

Everything is a dreary blank.

Why becomes my favorite question.

Why must I? Why must he? Why?...

Beauty. Love. Peace.

Overwhelming. Ease.

All is renewed. Life is found.

Not alone I sit. Loved, I am.

Sometimes life changes.

Sometimes a light goes on.

The light overwhelms the dark.

Everything is beautiful again.

Yes becomes my favorite answer

Yes you must. Yes he must. Yes all is right. Yes you have the power to love and be love....

 

Surrender

© Alysia08

 

I give you

My anger

My hate

My confusion

My tears

My sorrow.

Take it please.

Remove this from me.

Help me find

The beauty

The serenity

The peace

The love

The happiness.

Give me the strength.

Help me hold on.

I surrender it all to you...

 

ahhh i feel so much better! i just listened to rise against's song re-education (through labor) and over again. and i just stared at the moon the whole time. here's the song. it is pretty damn awesome! i think it sums up a lot for me. ;)

ok. i just needed to let that out. probably have more to write, cause that felt really good. i haven't written enough lately. kiss kiss~ alysia

this is how i feel today:

i've just been so irritable today. it was a good day... but not such a great night. i defrosted my yummy soup  i made the other day and it was soo grouse! it had noodles and potatoes in it and they made it into a paste instead. ggggrrrrrr! oh, and i have ants. i also had realized that i was doing good with money, mainly cause i was going to have a great day tomorrow. well... i just had a client cancel! i am now 130 bucks short! i am sooo mad! i can't even begin to tell you. also, it throws off my whole schedule! grrrr!  *deep breath* ok. it is going to be ok. i am going to go for a moonlight walk. watch some tv and relax. tomorrow will be a much better day. i just know it. ok. here's some funny to make me feel better. i think this will help a lot. :)

he he. have a great day guys! oh! and hope you enjoyed the full moon. she is just beautiful isn't she! :D i think a walking ritual is in order tonight.  (((hugs)))~ alysia