1. I've come to realize that my hair...has a mind of it's own!

2. I've come to realize that my legs....are sexy and smaller then i thought!

3. I've come to realize that my job is....my calling.

4. I've come to realize that when I'm driving....that those things in the other cars are infact people. and should be treated that way.


5. I've come to realize that I need...to shield daily. and take time for me and my god and goddess daily. or else i turn into a monster!! ha!!

6. I've come to realize that I have lost....nothing that i can't find again.

7. I've come to realize that I hate it when....people don't think of others before themselves. (i mean take care of yourself, but don't step on others to get what you want!)

8. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk....i will get sick.

9. I've come to realize that money....is something to be welcomed. something given as graciously as it is taken.


10. I've come to realize that people....have the ability to be happy.


11. I've come to realize that I'll always be...happy, beautiful, and kind.

12. I've come to realize that my significant other....will come one day. he is out there i just know it!!!

13. I've come to realize that my mom....is strong, beautiful, and wise.


14. I've come to realize that my cell phone....keeps me sane. (holds my schedule!)

15. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning....that life is beautiful. and i am lucky to be living it. :)

16. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep....that no one's gonna live my life for me. and i wouldn't want them to anyway! MINE!!!!! ;)


17. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about....what i am going to do when i finish this.


18.

No question 18!

19. I've come to realize that when I get on MySpace....i see a lot of people i don't know. unlike cs, where i see friendly wonderful faces! :D

20. I've come to realize that today....is beautiful and full of possibilty!

21. I've come to realize that tonight....i will watch my two boyfriends on tv. (steve from ghost hunters and josh from destination truth)

22. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will....groom, rock out to music, and make the day my own party.

23. I've come to realize that I really want to....be the best me i can be.

24. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost...will have fun doing so.



25. I've come to realize that life....is full of passion, sorrow, laughter, love, and beauty! it is an orgy of the senses. :D


26. I've come to realize that my friends....are who they are.

27. I've come to realize that this year....was full of lessons. and growth. 

so after a day of relaxation. i feel like a new me.. once again! ha! i think i needed a mental vacation. i really didn't do much today, but i feel good. i feel peaceful. i think one of the things that really bothered me about the mr. married tattoo man is that i was wrong. i thought he and i were really going to date. i was wrong. i also have a friend who is pregnant. i told her she is sooo having a girl. nope, i was wrong again. she's having a boy. i feel like my antenna are crossed or something! i am trying to get my intuition to be sharper, but i have been so wrong lately. however, while meditating the day i found out the he was married, i was told by brighid that i need to understand that my feelings get in the way. i need to really go with my first instinct. i try to control it and say, nope this is what's gonna happen. and it's funny, when she *told* me that i hadn't found out about him yet. this is the second time that information has come to me that was handy later.. well, really not the second time. that happens a lot. i seem to be finding a lot of people on this site and other places {in life/friends and family} who could use info that i just learned! things that i read or learn or see are extremely relevant sometime the next day! so i think that i am on the right path. or my intuition is good! lol! either way, i'll just try to keep it up. ;)  i guess what i'm saying, is that i feel almost like i was about to be given a great gift... something that i had been promised.. and then i see it right in front of  me, only to have it be given to someone else. know what i mean? oh well. i suppose there are other gifts out there. life goes on. thank you all for you wonderful words. i am so very lucky to have you all. i am sure i will have someone to share my beautiful life with one day. only time will tell when. we shall see. hope you all have a wonderful day. off to bed with me. i've got some reading to do. :D  (((hugs)))~ alysia

i really don't feel like have any where else to let this out.. so please don't read this if you are looking for cheer. and please know i will be fine tomorrow. i just need to vent.

he's married. my tattoo dude. he is married. my mom called for an apt for the whole family. she made a crack about him working late for us on a friday and the dude on the phone said 'i don't think the wife would like that.' my good natured self immediately thought, maybe they were joking about a gf who they call *the wife* cause she is evil and controlling. but i doubt it. i had just done tarot with a friend and from them it sounded like he is in a relationship but it is going to end. and bad. and that we will date. i never asked for a time frame, i always do. and it is usually bad. but this time i said, is it going to happen at all. it sounded very very good. it gave me such hope. especially for the upcoming apt. perhaps one day.. but i am so sick and tired of waiting. and hoping. but there is such a safety in it. a possibility that may or may not happen.. now i know not now, well not soon.

i don't know why, but i am taking this like it's rejection. like he thinks i'm ugly and stupid. don't know why. i am fighting it.. but that's really how i feel. i begin to think why am i single, why have i been single for so long? it's been about 4 years. everyone says i'm cute, friendly, and sweet. but why? and why can't i have the guy i want? i've never dated a dude who i wanted to date. it's always been a *why not* kinda guy. a guy who i hope i will fall for. never someone who i already fell for. i just don't get it. i try to be positive, i try to be friendly, i try to be *the cool* gf. but nope. i'm just the friend who everyone loves, but no one's in love with. 

and then my friends wanted to see me, so we went to my one friend's apartment to sit in the hot tub. they began to talk about all the boys they have dated and such. i couldn't help but feel like a looser. *sigh* i hate this. this is not how i am. i am proud of who i am. i don't like thinking that the number of boys who i have slept with or dated have anything to do with who i am as a person. i don't like this comparison sh*t! both of these friends are going back and forth between 2 dudes. they've got 2 bfs!! i don't even have guys checking me out!!!!! gggggrrrrrrrrr! or if they do they are not the ones i want to be! uuuggggh! this sucks. i hate where my mind goes when this kind of stuff happens. i guess tomorrow's another day... i have a lot to be thankful for.. i just feel like i can't catch a break. can't i just have one amazingly wonderful thing happen?? i am a bright happy person. i am positive. i manifest. why only little things. you know, i was going to write about what i was thankful for today. i think i should still. i need to remember that my life is a good life. and that any one who enters it would be lucky. so here is what i am thankful for.

*my home. i live in my own place that is cute and cozy.

*i have my own business. i am my own boss. i get to do what i want. and i am succeeding. and will do better and better.

*the town i live in. it is beautiful. and just perfect for me.

*my animals. they make it all worth while. i can't even explain the love i have for them.

*the fact that fall is here. i love it! my fave!

*my friends here. what a wonderful group of witches i've met. give yourselves a hug, cause you rule!

*the fact that i see the world through poet's eyes. everything is beautiful. even sorrow.

*my uncle lance. god i miss him. but i am so thankful to have had him.

*my cousin justin. he is a true hero. i love that i am related to such great people!

*my family. mostly my mom, bro, sis, and miss audrey! so much fun to be around.

*my friends and their kids. i love to watch their lives transpire. so beautiful. can't help but be jealous some times. ;)

*for the money i make. the fact that i am a single person and am still afloat. barely- but i'm here.

*my strong blood. it's really hard to keep me down. i love that.

*and lastly, i am thankful for the possibilities of life. the "chance" things that happen. i really feel that things are gonna turn around. i know that even if this door is closed, another will open. life will go on. and new and exciting adventures await me. i just need to open up to them.

ok, off to bed. hope you all had a better equinox then i did! i think i'll be celebrating tomorrow. amazing how little things can throw ya huh? (((hugs)))~ alysia

i am so happy that fall is here. we really had a very mild summer, but i just  love everthing about fall! ;) i woke up, again to an overcast day. i think it may stick. and it's about 60 out. aahhhhh.. warm cider sitting by the fire reading edgar allan poe.... *sigh* if only i had a fire place!! ha! you know, my anxiety about x-mas has gotten worse and worse. i almost didn't want summer to end just so that the *holiday season* wouldn't be just around the corner! but this year, i'm going to welcome it with open arms. i will make it a good one. even if i celebrate alone! lol! i think i am going to begin gift shopping in october. i will get everything by november. that will make things a bit easier! i hate mall crowds! 

so this morning i was doing my am yoga/ritual and i thought i would glance at my books to see what they all mention about the autumn equinox. then it hit me!!! i didn't read ellen dugan's autumn equinox book!! dammit! i had gotten it last year and i thought i'd read it in august so i'd be ready. crap. i missed it! but i think i will began it today. i will learn a bit of info to use tonight. :) i think i will make some pumpkin bread today. :D i'm excited about that! i will get the yummy smell of fall in my house. i also think i will work on my big wreath for my front door. i think some house hold cleaning is in order today. then some baking and crafting. oooo and i simply must take a walk. perhaps i will go to my favorite nature spot. :) it's gonna be a great day today!!

so wanna know something cool??!!?? my sister wants to begin celebrating the day of the dead!!

she says it's for her daughter. she wants to teach audrey spanish {my sis is fluent.} so she thought the day of the dead would be great for her. she began to study up on it and is excited about it. :) so my sis, my niece, and i will be doing crafting and celebrating my uncle and grandparents this november 1st or 2nd. i can't remember the exact date. lol! i'm excited! i'll have my own pagan celebration on the 31st and then have one with my sis! yay! this is the first time that anyone in my family has even vaguely shown interest in what i celebrate! to cool! i have a beautiful Katrina statue that will be great for it! i'll have to take a pic to show you guys. she's awesome! my mom, dad, grandma {dad's mom. she's still with us.}, and my sis went to mexico a few years back. they were there for the day of the dead celebrations. they saw all the beautiful flowers and parades. and that's where my Katrina statue came from. i've seen replicas, but nothin's  like her. she's awesome!

so disney was a blast! i had a great time. didn't go on a ton of rides. and my favorite haunted mansion was closed for the switch over to halloween. but looks like it should be ready before my pass runs out. yay! cause i've gone on it ever year since they started this. i love it!! oh! and last thing. i have a karma question. ;) so there i was, having a grand ol time at california adventure. however, i was a bit parched. so i decided to fork out the small fortune to get a soda. {$2.75! can you believe that!?} i went to a little kiosk kinda thing. the dudes were not your typical disney happy characters. it took them a while to even ask me what i wanted. then i asked for a coke and said please. the dude gave it to me and said $2.75. i gave him $3. he then went into his drawer and gave me $3.25. i kinda looked at him for a second, then the lil devil in me said, *be cool, be cool.* so i said thank you and walked away. ha!! so i was paid to drink a soda. lol! what do you all think?? should i have told him??? i kinda think it was supposed to happen. i've been working so hard at keeping money and besides. that guy was an ass! ha!!!

ok, i'm gonna go get ready. expect another post from me though. i am going to do what i'm thankful for tonight. perhaps while my circle is still up. :) hope you all have a great day!! warm snuggly ((((hugs)))) to you all!~ alysia

***jumping up and down while clapping*** IT'S HERE!!! IT'S REALLY HERE!!!!!!!!!

i know isn't it shocking that  a libra would love this time of year?? oohhh the balance of it all!! *sssiiiigghhh*

i woke up to a cloudy day. it has pretty much cleared already. but it was beautiful! i can't wait for those wonderful cold nights. i also came home last night and could smell someones fire going. that was awesome! :D

so i went to the fair yesterday. it was a bust! lol! it was WAY to busy. i have to say though, my shielding was great! i didn't feel overwhelmed at all being in such a big croud. i also was not drained at all by the end. i will get that overwelming sense of ~to much going on~ but i don't let it get me. i never felt that yesterday. so pretty cool. :D and then today, i'm going to disneyland! ha! look at me, i'm a park machine! lol! my season pass is about up, so i need to squeeze in some fun.

yesterday, i got to thinking about my justin tattoo.... i'm not sure about the 7 thingy. {for those who have missed any of this. my cousin lost his legs in afganistan. he is doing great! he's happy and having a good time still. nothing keeps him down! and so my family is getting tattoos to honor him. this is the design.}    so i'm not really feeling it. i was thinking of getting somthing more personal. something to honor him now. not that he served in the marines. that he had a huge, devistating thing happen to him and yet he is still happy and plugging along. i was thinking about a quote or something. what do you all think? anyone know of a good quote? my friend says my quote *the world will never take my heart* is a good one. but i really want that for me. ;) sooooo... i'm trying to come up with something. oh!!! annndd i didn't get to see my dream boat the other day. he was in the building, but was tattooing, so he was busy. we talked to the other artist instead. :( oh well, i'll see him soon.

k off to get ready for the magic kingdom.. kinda fitting for a witch to go there huh? ;) hope you all had a great weekend and an even better mabon tomorrow!! yay for fall!!!! ((((hugs))))~ alysia