he he he! i'm excited to be the ripe old age of 28. i kinda see my b-day as the true new years. i mean it has been a full year for me... know what i mean?? it's early people, my brain is still in my bed. and frankly i am jealous! ha! momma earth has given me a great b-day gift. it rained all day yesterday and it is still overcast and cold today! i mean friday i was wearing shorts and a tee. so it's pretty freaking sweet that fall FINALLY hit socal! and perfect timing eh?? seems like everyone is bailing on my zoo trip. i think it is just going to be 2 friends and my family. but that's cool. i do best in small groups. ;) sooo because i see this as a true new years, i wanna list my resolutions. since it's early and i'm tired, i'm only gonna do 3!! :D

1: i am going to continue to work on strengthening my natural abilities.  ~in the land of the living and spirit! :D 

2: i am going to embrace each day with a happy heart. full of love and appreciation of the gift called living.

3: i will take better care of my self ~inside and out!

i know i'll come up with a lot more later today. lol! i may just use this for  my samhain celebration. ok, gotta hop in the shower and then off to the zoo!! yay!!! ooohh i gotta remember that camera of mine. oh, and in case you all may have not realized it.. this is a national holiday. it is MY b-day! sooooo on this very special day you must do at least one thing you totally love. you need to indulge in your favorite food ~even if you are on a diet! and  you must enjoy your family, friends, and animals. sorry.. i know it's a drag! but thems the breaks! ;) and one last thing.. i am now accepting applications.. ;) i'm obsessed with this song right now! it is so beautiful. i just keep thinking, I WANT THAT!!! :D enjoy kids. and enjoy your alysia day!

i found my strength to stand up an be me.

i found my strength to be set free.

i found my strength to speak my mind.

i found my strength to love myself.

i found my strength to love my life.

i found my strength to know myself.

i found my strength to not be like others.

i found my strength to stand firm in my beliefs.

i found my strength... at last, i found my strength.......

© alysia

yet another shift has happened in me. i feel more clear, more powerful, beautiful, and more like me. yesterday i went to dinner with a friend. we were having a great time. good food, good conversations. but then she said, 'lets decide what we are going to do for halloween. we need to plan that... maybe a bar.. a party...' she has been asking me to do something with her for a long time. last halloween we hungout. i ended up not doing a ritual at all. i also missed all the trick-or-treaters at my house. she loves halloween parties  and wants me to go to one with her. all the while i had been doing what i always do. i'd tell her yes (so as to not rock the boat) and then hope that i could squeeze a little ritual time in before bed. i have done this for many of the holidays. and i usually don't celebrate. but i looked up at her and i said, 'i actually want to stay home for halloween. i'm ok going out the day before or after. but not the day of.' she looked at me and i saw a flash of wtf?! then she said. 'what is it some witch thing?' and i said yes and that my uncle just died and i want to celebrate him. (she understands the holiday. she was just being a bitch) then she remembered herself and said, 'okay. well i'm going to have to get to planing for my halloween!' it felt so good! i put my foot down. from me standing up against my clients i have realized that not only is my business to be taken seriously, but so is my religion! not to mention me! i deserve to be treated right. so f- that! lol! it feels really good. and i do not see it as i used to. i would feel like i was hurting the other person by not doing what they wanted. but now i see that i was the one hurting. that was just what i thought was going on. the burden of guilt has been lifted! that is saying a lot for me! that is a big big thing! last night before bed i asked brighid to help heal my wrist. it is giving me trouble. i was thinking it would be like a spirit or energy ice pack on it. healing it over night. well... i think she did a little more then my wrist! lol! i feel great. i get it. i finally get it. :) yay!!! happy freaking friday people! hey! looks like it only took me 28 years to figure this whole guilt thing out!! ha ha ha!!! hope you all have a rockin day!! ((((hugs)))) peace and light bulb break throughs to you all!~ alysia

so the most interesting thing happened yesterday... you all may recall me cleansing the crap out of my house the other day??? well, i guess it did the trick! mostly for my uncle. he  stayed over for 3 days and yesterday was his last night. when he stays over he tries to make it like he's not even here. he comes to the house at about 8pm and he goes right to bed. he gets up before i even  hit r.e.m... a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point. ;) so yesterday he came over and was like, "lets have a little b-day party." and he began to riffle through a barnes and noble bag. i was like "wwwaaahhhhh??" he never ever gets me gifts. only this last year did he start to get me something. last x-mas he got me a book for the first time since i was probably 5! so he then busts out a schedule book that is from wicked. a hat from wicked. a funny bookmark that says *you say wicked like it's a bad thing.* and then a beautifully bound book of both wicked and son of a witch! i have never read them. i didn't have  much interest. i tried to read his book *lost* but i got *lost* ha!!. so i felt like i probably wouldn't like wicked. but now i must read it! my sis loved it, my friends loved it. and i did see the musical and i liked it. it was good. soooo ya, he was in a chipper mood the whole 3 days he was here! oh! and he also told me some cool info. some may know that my great grandfather was a poet and that his mother was also a poet. well.... his great something or other was also a poet! aaannndddd he had a really interesting book published. it was a short story {i think} about a person from out of the country coming to america and witnessing the civil war. cool huh!? aaannndddd we also have 2 relatives who were very involved in desegregation. they were catholic priests who fought to allow blacks into the church. i guess there was a biography in my lil library here that was written by a black man about black history in the catholic church. and my uncle thumbed through to find our ancestors names! he said that the man said that one of them {forgot his name! ha!} was so wonderful and such a great man that it would be a disservice to not have a full bio written on him! and apparently a nun did write one on him, but it was a thesis paper and it is hard to find. so pretty crazy huh??? no wonder i like to write and help right wrongs! it's in me blood! :D and i guess my cleansing did the trick. :) hope you all have a great thursday! off to groom with me! (((hugs)))~ alysia  

so there is something very close to my heart that i'd like to talk about here. the unchanging heart. i have come to realize something... life changes in so many ways. so many obstacles present themselves. i'm not just speaking of the big stuff; for example: you saved all your money for a wonderful vacation and suddenly your dog is ill and you must use the money for him or her instead. i'm talking about the little daily annoyances. such as; today, i had a 2 dogs scheduled for this morning. called the client yesterday, didn't hear from her so i thought i would be going to groom. nope. got a call at 8 am telling me that she couldn't make it. this is an irritation i woke up to. normally not the best way to begin your day! also, i will be out $135!! so that is not a good thing. but... i am happy i am at peace. i decided to see that i now have the opportunity to enjoy my animals and my house. i get to have some free time to just be. that is a beautiful thing. i was able to do a long meditation this morning. it was beautiful! i also did my yoga for the first time in about 4 days. oh, and i get to make a yummy big breakfast! yay!! :) 

so you see.... what i am trying to say, is that an unchanging heart can be a glorious thing. everyday we have disruptions, things that, some, will carry all day and cause their day to be a crummy one.  i am seeing how the idea began as something much bigger. the idea of still being happy and at peace when life is having a big wardrobe change. but now i can see the beauty in applying this to everyday junk. you know, i was going to be attending the pagan pride day this sunday (my b-day. :D) but things have changed. i am sad because i could've met some people and i have never been to one before. but, my sister was busy the day before my b-day. we were going to get the family together to celebrate, but that's not going to work. i wanted to get together and go to the hard rock cafe in san diego, then go to their haunted ghost tour. but no one wanted to go. so i then, begrudgingly  opted for the s.d. zoo. wanted to do this on saturday, but then my sis said her hubby wanted to celebrate a work thing on that day. so i conceded, and we are now celebrating on sunday. normally i would pout. i would even consider pulling the *it's MY birthday!!* card. but no. i decided to go with it. i  am sure i will have a wonderful day. i will enjoy my family. and enjoy the beautiful animals. why not see the beauty in life. why just see the negative? allow your heart to be happy, always. don't let it change because of outside influences. find joy and beauty in everyday.. in every moment. :) trust in the universe. trust in the gods. allow them to lead you. you never know where you will land.

 hope you all have a wonderful day. full of beauty and a heart full and unchanging!! (((((hugs)))))~ alysia

well... i just had an interesting day. i went to disney land for about an hour. i went with a friend and it was waaayyy to hot and wwwaaayyyyy to crowded. i wanted to hit up the haunted mansion because they changed it for the holidays. and it was awesome! i never take pix when i go to disney land, but my mom begged me to because i was wearing my necklace that has my uncle's ashes in it. we promised if we went to somewhere special or on vacation we would take a pic and send it to his wife saying *hey, lance went to disney land* -or wherever. so here's me at the haunted mansion.

so we took off after that ride. lol! i almost melted! ha!! and then my friend and i got a bug up our butts and decided to get tattoos!!! she wanted to get me one for my birthday and didn't want to wait until next sunday. so off we went. we got friend tattoos. this is my lovely stomach.. don't laugh. ;)

isn't he cute??!!! his name is rodrigo. we both just fell in love with him. :D that was the most painful 45 mins of my life! ha! ok, a little dramatic, but it was bad. i never complain about tattoos, but i guess the stomach sux! and i can vouch for that now. it truly blows. oh well. i have a little dude for the rest of my life. :)

not a typical day for me.. but it was lots of fun! and i guess my other friend is going back to this artist for some work on my b-day. should be fun. and then my friend with the matching tattoo is going in the following week for her own work. i should just set up a cot there. sssheesh! alright, got an early morning tomorrow. hope you all had a great weekend. i sure did! ;) ~♥~ alysia