i have pumpkin bread in my oven right now. i'm not gonna lie ladies and gentlemen.. my house smells orgasmic! ha!! it smells so wonderful! pumpkin bread making is a lot of work, but i had help.....


ha!! and after all his hard work lil edgar went and relaxed in his favorite spot

yup, i'm crazy! ha! i couldn't resist though. lol!!! so wanna know something crappy?!? the pumpkin that he's sitting on is rotting! dammit! it only lasted a week! what's up with that?! i'm thinking of getting one of those fake ones instead. not sure if they are hollow though.. i guess i'll find out!

so i had to get up at 5:30 this morning! i went with my uncle to work and then picked up my dad's car. long story why, but i am tired now! it's about noon. and i am beat. mostly cause i couldn't fall asleep. that always happens when i need to get up early! it was kinda neat seeing the waining moon out though. lol!

so i got my hair done and i had a blast as always! my landlady rocks! :) so we did it a little bit shorter and did it really dark and added peek-a-boo high lights. it's cute! i will like it even more once i get to totally style it on my own. she used a flat iron so it was really straight! my hair really isn't that curly, but it has nice body and wave to it. i like that about it, sooo it will look better later. but here you all go:

and even though my pinkie wanted nothing to do with this. here's me rockin my new cut. ;P


no big plans for today. just gonna clean up and then maybe go to trader joes. oh and maybe see about getting another pumpkin. my alter is gonna look so sad without one! i leave you all with a pic of my honeysuckle bloom. :) have a great day!!!

i did the coolest thing yesterday! in the morning i decided to smug myself. i was feeling a bit tense. so i took my sage and began to smug around me. i suddenly had the urge to do my chakras. so i took the sage and made little circles around the spots. when i got to my heart i suddenly felt all my tension go away! it was cool! it felt really good almost like an itch was being scratched. i had no idea that all my tension was gathering there. but it was. and this description of what the heart chakra is for makes a whole lotta sense! *Relationships, Love, Acceptance, Self-Control, Compassion, Guilt, Forgiveness, Harmony, Peace, Renewal, Growth* all of those work for me and where i am in my life. and i could see that all of those are and were coming to a head. just some more crap to work on! ha!! i just keep reminding myself how boring life would be if i didn't have anything to work on. lol!!!

so i am gonna get my hair cut and colored today. :) haven't decided what i wanna do. i'm thinking something different. i'm getting sick of this cut already! lol!! i am going to go darker for sure though. i will take pix when i get it done. have i told you all how much i love my landlady??? she is also my hairstylist. she and i barter. i groom her dog and she grooms me. :D it is beautiful! i love it! i always am the last one to benefit from my money. well, physically anyway. i don't get my nails done, i don't get new cloths often. and if i didn't have my landlady, i'd rarely ever get my hair cut. i'd probably have my mom do it! ha! so it's nice to have a guilt free cut and color.

so after days and days of contemplation.. i have come up with one new tradition i shall do for samhain. i decided that i really wanna welcome loved ones who have passed. so i will be lighting my candles on my ancestors alter everyday for 5 days before samhain. so i've got until the 26th to figure out if i will say something or not. i may also leave out a bit of my dinner every night. i'm still working on poems and the general ritual for the night of. i think i will take the day off. it is a religious holiday after all. :) goddess i love being my own boss. ;P i think i will sit in front of my house with candy and my fire bowl going for the trick-or-treaters. i don't want the dogs to go crazy every time someone knocks! i will make it fun and wear my witch hat and read mr. poe. :) maybe i'll even put out chairs for my passed loved ones. :D we shall see.

oh! and one last thing. i have an odd connection to president lincoln too. not like poe.. but kinda. i adore him. if there is ever a bio on him on tv i watch it, and i have been known to look up info on him too. he and his wife mary were into the whole spiritualist thing. mr. lincoln had a dream before he died that he was gonna die. i have often wondered if i was some how connected to him also. i looked just like mary todd at my sisters wedding! lol! i had ringlets and all. i also was about 30lbs heavier! lol! so i recently learned that poe and lincoln were born in the same year. only months apart as a matter of fact. mr. poe was not alive durring mr. lincoln's presidency, however, mr. lincoln loved poe's writing! lincoln also aspired to be a dark writer. i don't know what it's all about.. but i now strongly feel that i was alive during that time period. would love to know who the heck i was! lol! here's a funny comic i found. i typed in poe and lincoln on yahoo. i guess they had a lot in common. :D

BWWWAAHHH HAAAHAAAAHHHAA HAA!!! i just heard this song on the radio.. i forgot how funny it is. it is so classic because it wasn't ment to be funny. those are the best kind! lol! the best part is when she says, *i honestly do*.

hey, i just realized that i used to have her haircut. well look at that. i had a video vixen hairstyle... i think it's a million times better then this one:

so i had the worst night last night! my lil rosie got really sick. her gums were very pale and she was puking up anything that she took down. :( i usually don't worry much when it's my dalmatian, he's a big boy. but rosie is so small. she wouldn't eat and stop drinking for a while. oh, and i was trying to stay up late to keep an eye on her but someone decided i need to go to sleep early-ish. at about 11:50 the power went out! i tried to sleep, but no power means no a/c or fan! so i was hot! then at about midnight the power came back on. yay! tttthhheennn i turned off the lights off and snuggled in to sleep. rosie likes to sleep on my pillow above my head. i have two pillows, and she sleeps on the one that i don't have my head on... anyway! lol! i guess in sickly state she decided to snuggle up there. well... then her body took over and she puked over the side of the pillow!! and yes, it got on me! and the best part... i didn't have any clean sheets! ha! i thought i did, but turns out i did a crapo job of washing a set and they smelled. so i had to put the sheet down on the mattress and use my warm top blanket as my sheet! oh, but i did have one pillow case.. that is flannel!!! so i was HOT!!! i tossed and turned most of the night, then i finally fell asleep. but i had to get up around 6am! ugh! and i was worried all night about rosie. then i was worried about her all day while i was working. she didn't want to eat this morning, and she was still puking up any thing {water} that she took down. but then i came home after a llllooonnggg day to see her shinning face! she was a million times better! :D i fed her and she happily ate her dinner. *sigh* thank the goddess! i kept having morbid images of finding her dead when i got home. driving home with a stomach full of knots, mind racing... i glanced over at a crows feather that i had found awhile back. and a sense of total calm came over me. my vision did this weird *click* kinda thing. it's the kinda thing that it does when i get info that is from *someone else*. the best that i can describe it is like when you are getting your eyes tested and they have all of those lenses that you look through and they say :which is better? number one, number two:... so my eyes did that and i *thought* :she's fine. she's happy and healthy. no need to worry:. it was like i *knew* it to be true. and sure enough, she was totally fine! i also *knew* that the power would go out. kinda like i *knew* the earthquake was going to happen. my mind is getting sharper, i can feel it! but i'm thinking that rosie either ate a bee or a spider {black widow} or she was stung or bit. she has a milky film coming from her eyes, and i thought her throat felt swollen. but i'm just happy she's ok. i was really concerned there.

so two last things then i'm outtie! numero uno: while working today i did something pretty cool. i switched my thinking. and i ended up having a great day! i had a very tight schedule today. clients that practically overlapped. whenever that happens i get very frazzled. i think about how i can't do it, how my clients will be sooo pissed, and about how i won't be able to take my time and groom each dog properly. well, i flipped it. i thought, i've got plenty of time, if i am late no one will mind, and i will do a great job and they will be happy. i was about a half hour late to each client and everyone of them didn't care. they didn't even mention it! i felt calm and happy. i never cursed out my fellow drivers {oh boy do i get all california driver when i am in a rush! lol} and i never got mad if the light turned red. my only true concern was rosie. but i tried to not let it effect my day. and it worked! **it also helps that i made $485 today!! whoooohhhoo!!** and numero...umm... two-oh. lol! i went for a wonderful walk tonight. it was soo beautiful out! the moon was out and the weather was perfect! it was neat cause we have some clouds and so the moon looked all hazy, like as if someone smudged it with their thumb. :) i've decided i need to take a walk everyday. i need the connection with the earth. even though i am outside a lot cause of my job, i need to take time to think, dream, and connect. yesterday i ended up casting a spell while walking! it was marvelous! i found 8 crows feathers and so as i was holding them i felt the need to do something for justin. and i'm not sure if i *saw* what is going to happen, or if i was manifesting what *should* happen. i saw him very strong and powerful. i saw his step mom with a gag around her mouth and her arms tied up. justin towered over her and she was looking down, as if she was submitting. i never felt anger from him. only... well.. power i guess. perhaps a dash of knowledge too. i also *saw* my uncle with sunglasses on. then he took them off and put on seeing glasses and he looked at her. so i think that, perhaps, justin won't let her actions dictate his life. she doesn't phase him. and my uncle will finally see clear what is going on. so ya, not sure if i did that, or i saw that! lol! but my eyes did do that click thing again. we shall see. only time will tell. :) that enough gibberish out of me! wow.. i can't believe i just spelled that right. who would've thought i could spell gibberish properly! ok, off to sleepy land... nighty night bats and ghouls,

alysia

ahhhh... life.... full of obstacles, fear, heartbreak, and most importantly... love, peace, and beauty!! *sigh* as i said last night, a sense of full awareness of self has washed over me. it's like my prior marriage to  myself has finally sunk in! {**for my newer friends: i decided to marry myself a few months back. i wear a ring on my right hand as a reminder that i am betrothed to me! i tend to think of others WAY more then myself. i am beyond giving. i would go starving for someone, who merely wanted more food. but that's in the past. oh, i also had a funeral for my old self. yes. i'm crazy, i know! lol!} for a while now i have been dancing the same dance. a waltz of worry and sadness. a blinding dance that renders the very senses useless! i was back to just going through the motions. i was here, but not really. i had moments of life. moments of true joy. but only moments. it hit me one day, that i really really don't want to live my life dancing this waltz. i don't want to be constantly worried about money, other people, and the unavoidable! sh*t happens! i would have lucid moments where i would see the *light*. i would say, hey i have a beautiful home, wonderful dogs, family life could be better.. but really, who's couldn't! lol! and i have my own business! hello, that's pretty damn cool! lol! those would be my moments of clarity, but sadly only moments. then i would fall back into, as poe puts it, melancholy.  i began to realize that i was living my life for others. that yes, i want to help, i want to heal, i want to be there for people.. i truly care! i just was going at it the wrong way! i began to see a pattern emerging in regards to my friends. they all expected me to give, give, give... and they need not barely give me a smile in return. selfish patterns began to show. i was drained, sad, and hurt. this realization came in conjunction to my cousin getting injured. i was even doing this *giving* thing magically. when i first found out about justin i would send energy galore.  when i started to hate life and had no energy of my own i realized something was wrong. cererbus pointed out that i need to take the energy from the universe not from myself! *duh* lol! this, i had realized applied to my life also...

so what to do with all of this??? learn, change somethings, and grow. :)  what i've began to do is this: i am studying healing. i just happened upon a great book at the store. it was in the sale rack. only $3.99. i feel that it was a sign from brighid and bran. they are saying that i need to properly learn how to help people. i don't think i will ever be a professional, but i think that it is so strong in me that i need to learn how to use it properly. i have also noticed that my tarot skills have strengthened since this *shift* occurred in myself. i feel like i can see clearer. i have even been able to see auras. kinda trippy really! i have also noticed this effect on animals. they like me even more now! kinda cool. ;) works wonders for my profession! lol! i also have been taking more me time out of my schedule.  and i have decided to let my friends just be. they are who they are, however.. i am not who i used to be. i will no longer drop everything to go do something with them. one thing that has upset me and really put this in motion is the way one of my friends in particular has no regard for my time at all. just yesterday i told her i wanted to go to the bookstore. i also said it would be cool to go see the dark night. but most importantly i wanted to go to the bookstore. {i needed another christopher moore book! lol!} she had to talk to some people before she could let me know for sure. so i said that i really wanted to go to the store, so why don't i just head out there now. then we can meet up later. she thought that was a smashing idea. well, she called me shortly after and said she may be able to go to the b.s. with me and that she would call me right back. i waited. called clients. watched the simpsons. so that would be about 45 mins gone by. oh, and not to mention the fact that i was STARVING!! so i texted her with *should i go to the bookstore? should i eat?*. she responded saying that she got into a huge argument with her mom and that she no longer wanted to eat or do anything. that she was way to upset! so, not only did she make me wait, but she didn't text me or anything to let me know this. I had to ask HER!  and really, did she have to get in a brew-ha-ha with her mom right then and there. couldn't she say, "i am going out with my friend. we can continue this later." i don't fight with people, so i don't know the *proper* etiquette for this situation. but i would think that your starving friend who wants food and book right now, really shouldn't be put on the back burner while you have *words* with the woman who birthed you!  so i resigned to take care of me.  that i will no longer let her dictate what my day will encompass! the same goes for all friends, because she isn't the only one i've got who needs to soak in a bottle of head and shoulders!! {get it?? they are flakes! ;) lol!}  i think i have been repeatedly pushed to a life of self reliance. if that is the path i must take, then so be it. i accept with an open heart. perhaps one day i will have someone in my life who will change my mind about all of this... but for now, i live my life for me! so you see, this works with the healing thing too. i was giving myself in that too. so once i learn the proper way to help i will no longer be feeling drained and used. i hold on to hope that me settling into myself will catapult me in the direction of my soul mate. only time will tell.... i have to say though, that senior tattoo has been sending me signals lately! lol! i keep seeing his first and last name in random places! i hear songs that remind me of him. i will have clear image of him out of the blue. *sigh* time... it will tell.

alright kids! off i go to eat, drink, and check in on ya! ooo and i need to do my morning yoga and divine love-fest!  good think i don't work until 2!! lol! ((((hugs)))) ~alysia~

:D how are you all doing on this fine summer day?? fab i hope! ;) just took the mustang into the mechanic.. *crosses fingers* i hope it doesn't cost a fortune! i forgot how fun it is to drive that beast. lol! i hope it is in my financial grasp to fix it. :) i have a great feeling it will be. i am in such a great mood today! i am sooo connected to animals it's kinda creepy.. kinda like this:

it's true. i groomed 2 dogs. one terrier mix who already loves me. and then a chow who.. well... is a chow! lol! he is one of the -no strike that one the best chow i've ever groomed. he is very well behaved. but he is still a animal who demands respect. however, today he was lil butter ball! i bent over to tell him he was all done. i went to rub his chest, so i was looking him in the eyes, and he went to town licking my face!! it was sooo cute! i laughed and he did more. it was so cute! and then while i was walking home from the mechanic i saw a squirrel on the grass right by where i was gonna walk. i slowed down and he looked at me. then he scampered up a tree and stopped. he stared. but didn't move. i was really close to him. and he didn't care! lol! i bet he would've let me pet him if i wanted. i could see his lil nut brain thinking "i wonder if she has any food." lol   

so i hit up michael's. :D i got some halloween goodies already. lol! i am so ready for fall! i found a tin sign that says spooky trails to you. i so had to get it cause happy trails to you was one of my grandma's things. it is on her tombstone. so it was perfect. a little bit of her, a little bit of me. :) they also had a cute tree sign that has a hook on it. i think it will be a perfect home for my keys. now i think i may just go to the book store and see what kind of trouble i can get into. ;) i won't be tooo bad. promises. :D i am falling back into my poe love. i mean i never really fell out.. just got distracted. but i want more info on him. and some more of his lesser known poem/tales. i've been listening to my cds over and over while i groom. i swear, i've almost got the raven down! lol! i'm thinking it shall be a new goal of mine to read all of his works. shouldn't be to hard. *thank the gods he didn't write novels!*  i also am feeling super creative. i need to write. i know it. it is welling up in me. it's about to spill over.

one last thing before i rush out the door into the sweltering heat of a southern california summer.. do you guys think we can cause karma??? sssshhhhh! don't blurt out a yes until i explain what i mean! slloooww down! lol!! i was pondering today weather or not we can cause a karma-like effect in our lives. that our guilt for some of our lesser shinning moments can cause us to *accept* that we deserve whatever poo gets flung on us. for instance: my dear friend has hit a speed bump in her life... well i wouldn't call it a speed bump... more like a giant hill that came out of nowhere!! it seems to have skipped right over raining to a hurricane force storm of sh*tty luck. every thing's going wrong. except some really great things are going right that are helping keep her, somewhat, sane at this time.  she keeps saying it's karma. that she deserves it all. ok, eeorye, sllooww down. what if it's not quite that simple!? here's a short description of what she *did* that, she thinks, is the reason for this karmic bitch slap...in the brackets i will place the truth. what is real that she doesn't see.  *she broke up with her {extremely mentally abusive, controlling, psycho} boyfriend. who had a little boy. who she thinks she let down. {not to sound cold. but not her son. she shouldn't suffer for him! besides, the dad's really good to him. not abusive at all} then she turned around and decided to date a dude who works with her. {he is the first boy who she has ever had the hots for who felt the same way.} bad part. her manager who is her friend was interested in him too. {she is something like 8 years older than him and is a self proclaimed man eater. not the best person to let date a dude who you like!} so she dated him behind her back and oh-but-of-coarse she found out. so my friend thinks that she deserves all the bad that has waltzed into her life. like she went to some karmic priest who said you must suffer.. a lot... in order to repent and pay back all the bad you have done. but here's the thing. i really don't see a whole lot of bad in what she did. what i'm thinking is the case here is that she felt so guilty for what, she perceived,  as bad stuff that she did, that she is welcoming -with open arms- the bad. that she is subconsciously sabotaging her life. i began to wonder if that is really what a lot of us do. that we all have this notion in our head that we must be reprimanded for  our bad actions. that it is soo strong in us that we will in turn cause them to happen! i mean, as cerberus always says, like attracts like. so if you feel bad for something you did {which may have not really been such a bad thing!} you will open yourself up for a sh*t storm! what do you guys think?? personally i think it makes a lot of sense. so next time don't jump to blame karma. i think she is a bit tired of being called a bitch. :) this is what she told me to say:

ha!! luv you all! hope you guys have a fantastic weekend. i will. i've got a concert to attend on sunday. and i also get to see my sis and my niece. :D yay!! here's who i'm seeing:

and surprisingly enough this is who is supposed to be the opening band:

good times will be had by all!!! :D ((((hugs)))) and full moon luv! ~&hearts~ alysia