hi guys! so on monday i went for  a walk. i took my time. i let my mind go and i just looked at the world around me. i was at peace... there are 3 different cats that are sometimes out when i walk. it was like they knew i was at peace cause they were out and mewing for me to pet them. :) a thought flew into my brain like a gust of wind... *i choose beauty*. i looked around and saw every leaf on every tree. i saw the unmeasurable beauty of a sun set. i felt deeply the love and peace of the earth and all her creatures... i thought, how many people go on walks to maintain health, or just cause they should take their dogs out. they never stop and look at the sun as he goes down. or even see the moon as she winks down on you from a perfect dusky sky... what a boring walk that must be!! i decided that in my life i must see beauty to enjoy my time on this earth. weather it's the beauty of the world around me {and believe me i can find it in just about anything}, or my big love~ the beauty of music. i know that in life we are smacked with so many horrible images, stresses, or painful sounds and memories... but why can't we choose beauty instead of all of that other garbage? why not choose to see the beauty of life instead of the suffering and pain? why not enjoy the heat of the sun instead of saying that damn it's so hot out! i can't wait for fall?! why not live in the now and choose to see *and feel* the profound beauty of the world at large!? i know that i tend to see life through the eyes of a poet. i sit and think about how i can put into words the amazing beauty that i have just witnessed... some may not see things that way. they may be way more visual and would be thinking of how great a photo of that would be. but either way, choose beauty. :) this little trick was really put to the test yesterday... we, all in all, had an amazing day. my cousin walked, for the first time in 6 weeks! what a gift and what a truly magical experience that was. i have decided to not share the video that i took until he is ready for people to see it. i'm sorry guys. :( if it was up to me i would would be showing everyone i know!! i am like a mom who has her lil boy's first bike ride on tape! lol! i am so proud of him! but it is his life and his journey. it is not my decision. so i am very sorry, but i realized that it was in his best interest to wait for his ok. :) so my mom, aunt, and i got there really early and spoke with his mom for a while before we were able to see him. she told us that he may have a staff {sp?} infection and that he may have to be put back into the hospital for 2 weeks! he is in the barracks now. also he has a 4 day weekend that he was looking forward to. he was going to go out and see friends and go to a wedding. but now that all my not happen. so needless to say, he was really sad. but the he got to walk and he was much more happy! :) it was truly amazing. they put his legs on and he stood. they normally put a p.t. band on his waist to help him but he was totally fine! he just stood up. he didn't waver at all! then they told him how to walk and what to do. he only had a few times where his foot would catch, but he ever fell or tripped. and then at one point they said go faster. so he did and he let go of the parallel bars and just walked for about 2 steps! it was amazing! he walked with such pride and strength. it was extremely inspiring! :) then we took him out to the hard rock cafe for lunch. we had a great time! then as we were walking back to the car, i was pushing his wheel chair... i hit a bump......... he fell........ it was the most painful thing that i have ever seen a person go through. people stopped to help get him back in the chair and then we parked him for a min to let him gather himself. his arm is still pretty messed up so he only has one totally good arm. so he had to just roll when he fell. luckily, he was wearing a brace on his longer leg and he fell onto that. but his butt is still very sore and he rolled onto that. :( i felt so bad, so guilty, so upset. we then got him back to the barracks and we then went back to the place for him to walk again. i guess they had another foot put on so they wanted him to try it. he was ready to go. didn't seem to be upset or in extreme pain. he told the docs what happened. and they said "oh, you had your first fall huh?" it was a non event to them. they didn't ask if he needed to lay down. never said maybe we should x-ray you. nothin! they spoke of it as something that just happens. and that he was very luck to have had that brace on. so i felt like a pile of crap the rest of the day. i apologized profusely. and he always said that it was ok. and then i remembered my thought... i choose beauty. i decided to not let this ruin a truly beautiful day. i would not allow myself to replay it and figure out what i did wrong or what i could've done different. {other then for lesson purposes, then let it go!!} i know that justin doesn't want me to feel bad and he doesn't hate me for it. it could've been anyone. my sister helped me to see so much of this. and i feel so much better. so i choose to see the beauty of that day. i am so lucky to have been there to see my cousin walk. i don't choose to forget or ignore what happened. i acknowledge it. i see it as a lesson. i now know to be much more careful when pushing a wheelchair. i know this won't be the first or the last time i will be pushing one. i also learned a lot about myself and where my mind goes in these situations. i see this as a big learning experience. and i know that justin is ok. so i choose to see the beauty. :) it was a superb day. one day, hopefully, you guys will be able to see how amazing that boy is!

so today, choose beauty. choose to see your world and all it's profound beauty! :) i hope you all have a wonderful day! off i go to work!! (((hugs)))~ alysia