...how my life's gonna be!" i proclamed today! for quite some time now i have been way to busy. i have been forgetting things -simple things, things that i would normally remember. however i have been to busy to remember them... things like eating, sleeping, playing with my dogs, taking a walk, enjoying my life, etc.... everyone keeps saying that i am still loosing weight, i think it's stress! for the first time, in i don't know how long, i've reeeeeallllllly wanted to clean my house! that is truly monumental for this slob, btw. and yet i have no time to do it! my mom keeps saying do the important stuff first, the house will always be there. ya, but you aren't having to eat off of paper towels! i know what you all are saying.. "what are you doing right now? you could be cleaning!" to be perfectly honest, i'm to damn tired! i worked a long day.. the last thing i want to do is stick my hands in more water! and lean over longer to clean floors instead of a dog! i think i need to find a boyfriend who not only loves me to pieces, but who also does windows!! ha!! ah, a girl can dream right? lol! so what was my point.... *scratches head*.... oh ya! my proclamation! i've decided to simplify. i also have decided to apply some of my earlier ideas. i am going to change the way i think. pretty tripy huh?! ;)  i've realized in the past month or so that i tend to allow my feelings to overthrow me. if i suddenly am sad, then by goddess, i'm SAD! no more. i am holding the reigns, i'm in control. just because a feeling wells up, doesn't mean it needs to be acted upon. also, i tend to see situations in dramatic lights. for instance; lets say i may not make rent {which i have cause money's been great! yay!!}, i would think that i suck, that i didn't do a good enough job, that i am not worthy of my house, that i should give up.. but no no no no no!!! i will flip that around and say, i can do it, i will make it, i am not a bad person because of this. for me, this goes beyond your typical manifestation. i beat myself  up, a lot. i am not very lenient  for myself. however i always am able to see why a person isn't in the wrong, or bad if they mess up. whelp i now see that i need to do that for me too. so i have that, and i am going to take my life back! i have been feeling really overwhelmed lately. between this thing with justin, my money issues, and my anxiety i have been... well... lets just say, in alysia land. also, i realized that i haven't been allowing myself to daydream. silly i know. but it does ground me and make me hope for the best, and well.. dream. :) it's the simple things with me. here's a  little inspiration that i wrote last night;

~&hearts~ i am going to transcend the mess, rise above the rest

i am going to live a life worth living!

~&hearts~ i love me! i deserve happiness and success. i deserve balance. i will not take on other's burdens!

~&hearts~ to love and be loved is what it's about. i don't have time for those who won't share the love!

~&hearts~ i accept people for who they are... now it's time for me to do the same justice for myself!

those came to me after a meditation session. it was beautiful! :D a lot of what my point is here.. what my proclamation is about, is that i realized that i was heading down an ugly path. i was heading down the *where the fu*k did the past 10 years go!?!* path. not my path at all! if i continued, i would wake up one day and my niece would be graduating high school! my dogs would be to old to play, or even worse.. gone! i have been busying myself to much. i must slow down! smell the flowers! enjoy my life! live a life worth living. :) as a libra i am trying to find the balance. i want my business to be successful.. no scratch that successful  profitable. i'm not looking to be a millionaire here, however nice that would be, i just want to be above water. so i want to be busy, i am ready for more clients, i want the business. however, i also want my time. i want regular busy time so i can have regular me time. know what i'm saying? i tend to get overwhelmed when business picks up along with my life. normally i shut down. then everything comes crashing down. not this time! i'll get it. :) 

anywho! lol! i needed to get that out. sorry about that. sometimes it settles in more when i do that. :) i also wanted to thank you all so much again for all your kind words, prayers, and energies for my cousin and my family. it has been killing me that i haven't had time to personally thank you all! i appreciate you all and i promise that soon i will be going though the site to not only thank you all, but to also check in on ya. i have missed so many blogs! i miss hearing about your days!!! i'm hoping this weekend will be ideal for me to dive in and submerge myself  in the wonderful world of covenspace. :) 

off i go, to read some cards and delve deeper into myself...

(((hugs)))~ alysia